This was my very first performance with Ricardo, which wasn’t supposed to have happened.
It was March of 2010.
Ricardo López was coming to Portland to give workshops...
Viewing entries tagged
fear
The first full flamenco dance I learned was with abanico.
After our first class Ana, my teacher in Sevilla, told me to go out and get a flamenco fan.
(She also told me to get flamenco shoes which I did not do. )
Does the idea of performing scare you to pieces?
You’re not alone.
Here I explore some fear I’ve been experiencing around an upcoming performance and eight steps I’ve taken (that you can take too) to prepare for a show when you don’t have an opportunity to rehearse in advance.
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Ever find yourself getting stuck in your head during class?
I know how you feel.
Today I will share with you four things you can do when you find yourself in this situation and I’ll show you a video you’ll LOVE of Beatríz Morales.
But first, a story.
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This week's letra made me think of an experience I had years ago which has nothing to do with flamenco. It has to do with dishonesty and fear. It started with a question, which led to a lie, which in turn led to facing a fear. The facing fear part actually helped prepare me for flamenco where I'm forced to confront my fears over and over again. To my surprise, all of the practice meeting my fears in flamenco has only made it easier to do so in life outside of the dance.
More on that in a minute, but first let's take a look at the letra and watch a video of Mercedes Ruíz, our teacher on the Flamenco Tour to Jerez, dancing caña, all in red, with bata and mantón.
Caña
Popular
Subí a la alta montaña
buscando leña pa’ el fuego
como no la encontraba
al valle bajé de nuevo
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Thinking about that first trip to Spain in 1998 has reminded me that I need to step it up in the doing things that scare the *#%~&> out of me category. Read on for a lesson around that idea and more of my story from that first trip. Also, find out why it's essential to listen to flamenco music, read a letra about Sevilla, then see a video of Juana la del Revuelo, Aurora Vargas, and Remedios Amaya ...
During my time in Sevilla I saw these women perform. During my time in Sevilla I saw these women perform live. As you'll see from the video below, it was wonderful. Their CDs were among some of the first I purchased once I accepted the fact that I needed to start listening to flamenco music. You see, in the beginning I wasn't very interested in listening to the music, especially cante, unless I was dancing, but Chris convinced me to start listening. He said I needed to do this to understand and internalize the compás.
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![Why You Shouldn't Call It Quits [My First Flamenco Dance Experience in Spain]](https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/568079e7bfe873f15c115eee/1497863268662-WXHKPVB6FCMAZCUITFKF/Abanicos+b%26+W.jpg)
My plan was simple (and not very well thought out):
Travel around Spain, settle somewhere in Andalucía, find flamenco classes, find work.
I had no contacts in Spain, no leads on where to study or work. I didn’t even know what city I was going to live in.
I just knew that if I wanted to learn flamenco I needed to go to Spain.
Today I'll tell you about finding flamenco in Sevilla, what it taught me about perseverance, and how it can help you.
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During last weekend's Flamenco Retreat at the Oregon Coast (which I'm still on a high from by the way and which you can see pictures of below) we all agreed that flamenco teaches us about life and about ourselves.
So, today I share with you fifty life lessons I've gleaned from flamenco.
Fifty Lessons:
(This list is full of links in case you'd like to dive deeper into some of the lessons.)
- Listen to your intuition, and trust your instincts.
- Express your true feelings.
- Be present.
- Stand beautifully in your power.
- Prepare. (Really prepare.)
- Take risks.
- Focus.
- Act with intention.
- The answers are in the mirror, so look.
- Show up.
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I was a junior in college and struggling through Spanish class.
The professor spoke only in español, and I hardly understood a thing.
Feeling confused, behind, and overwhelmed most of the time I did not particularly enjoy the class.
However I am full of gratitude for the experience.
You see, had it not been for this class, I'm not sure I would be dancing flamenco today.
Here’s what happened…
I want to tell you about some things that help me to feel better when I'm in a funky place. I also want to show you a very cool video and share a flamenco verse with you. But first, some words I wrote last week
(my first week back home post Flamenco Tour)
Coming home I feel overwhelmed.
This is not new.
It is how I usually feel after a trip to Spain. Excited to be back but overwhelmed and sort of confused at the same time.
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Writing saved me in Jerez, ... And then it got in the way.
Today I want to talk about how writing can become, well, detrimental in class.
Yes, detrimental
I'll begin with another excerpt from my notebook:
April 19, 2011
Mercedes scolded me once again in class this morning, calling me back out onto the dance floor. Clearly I was to be dancing, not writing.
Yes, once again, Laura and her book has come up. It comes up a lot. No one else writes anything down in Jerez.
They don't get me, I know, but I totally don't get them either!
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I can't imagine learning flamenco without pens and paper. I really can't.
On paper I take notes. On paper I figure things out. On paper I put the thoughts that circle inside my head. And there's just something I like so much about the feel of the pen moving atop the paper.
I often write in little books
They helped me a lot in the beginning, in Sevilla.
They help me today.
And they helped me a lot in Jerez.
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I originally posted this here just before the very first Flamenco Tour in 2012. I wanted to share it with you today on the eve of Thanksgiving. Rereading it I feel grateful. Grateful for trust.
Grateful for the trust that allows me to do certain things that I fear. Things that I really want to do. Things that make my life richer. Without trust, I would miss out on so much.
So, thank you, trust.
Some good things
have happened since my trip began. And I've already learned something very important.
Os cuento...
On Monday I went to the Portland airport.
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Ricardo is here, and I’m already disappointing him. He arrived on Tuesday, and it didn’t take long.
I’ll tell you about the desilusión and share three dance tips (Ricardo López) from his class last night. Three tips that are important to keep in mind at all times.
First, the disappointment
There’s really a lot of me feeling disappointed with myself going on.
Why didn’t I study before he came?
Why didn’t I make it a point to remember things he’d taught me in the past?
Why don’t I just pick things up quickly and do them well right away?
Why haven’t I been working on my technique more?
It started on Tuesday when he arrived.
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My biggest issue with bulerías when I got to Jerez was transitions. Well, ok, that’s not really true, my biggest issue after fear. But the transitions.
It was like all of a sudden I couldn’t see them.
And I didn’t know what to do.
I've since learned how to approach difficult transitions more gracefully. (I'll tell you how in just a moment.) I'll also explain to you in detail the transition that almost gave me a nervous breakdown along with some things you might like to know about "counting" bulerías de Jerez.
But first, allow me to give you some background ...
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People are often asking me about my how I got started dancing flamenco, so I’m going to tell you a story from that time today. At the end of the story you’ll find a tip on dancing with the bata de cola, it's an essential, and you can work on it anywhere, in the bathroom, in the bedroom ...
But first, Spain
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Evelyn likes being in the back of the room. In the back where she thinks she can hide.
In the back where it feels safe.
Evelyn is a student and a reader here. I wish you could meet her.
She sent us an email, Evelyn did. She wrote it in response to this.
I wanted to share it with you immediately upon reading it.
She talked about wanting to hide in the back of the class. Even wanting to leave. About feeling stupid. And about feeling afraid.
I knew these thoughts she spoke of
As a fellow fearful stay-in-the-back-of-the-classer, I knew these thoughts.
I figured you might know them too, so I asked her if I could share her words with you. And she said yes.
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My main obstacle to bulerías has always been fear.
It's no different from my main obstacle in life
I know indecision well.
No wonder bulerías has always been so hard for me,
Not enough trust.
In a moment I'll tell you how I've let go of a lot of my bulerías fears (and how you can do the same).
Because the truth is, now I kind of can't get enough of bulerías.
It is not that the fear has been eradicated, it's that the excitement and fun usually slide it over to the side now. Gracias excitement and fun.
But before I get into any fear eradication techniques, let me give you a bit of background:
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"I want to be in class with Mercedes ALL of the time." That is what I wrote in my journal on April 13, 2011.
But let's go back in time.
I arrived in Jerez on Friday, March 25 and began investigating classes to take.
Though secretly, I did not want to go to any.
A week in Jerez by myself.
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People are feeling nervous.
Nervous and anxious about the Student Showcase on Saturday.
I know this feeling. Well.
So I thought I'd repost these tips today, performance tips.
Whether you're performing in front of your friends in class,
at a show in front of the public,
or even just in your own bedroom in front of your cat,
There are things we can do to ease our nerves ...