It is with deep sadness that I share with you that on May 24th, 2022, my mother, Deanna Draper, passed away.
To honor her memory, I want to tell you a bit about the role my mom played in my flamenco journey.
My mom had an enormous impact on my life, as most mothers do.
From the time I was little she encouraged my creativity.
She allowed me to dress how I wanted and didn’t worry about what others might think.
She endured home produced plays and performances and lots of loud and messy practicing.
She gave me the tools, space, and encouragement to express myself.
She enrolled me in dance lessons when I was little, but I didn’t like them, so she let me stop.
She put me into acting classes, which I loved.
She drove me to weekly voice lessons.
She supported pretty much every choice I made.
She taught me to be independent, which is probably one of the major reasons I had the guts to start my own business.
She always believed in me.
You could even say she showed me how to improvise as she was always making up different strange and silly songs and singing them to us at home almost up to the end of her life.
Now let’s get to the direct role she played in my flamenco journey.
At my mom’s suggestion (urging), I began studying Spanish in college, after having studied French in secondary school.
It was in one of my college Spanish classes that I saw a documentary on flamenco and decided I would one day go to Spain to study this captivating art form.
If it were not for her, I may not be doing this today!
Later, when I chose to leave my elementary school teaching career and dive into flamenco as a job, she neither encouraged me nor dissuaded me.
She just trusted me.
And I guess I trusted myself to change course in large part because I learned from her that it was okay to want and go after what you desire.
My mom helped inspire my love of travel and adventure as visiting new places was something she loved to do.
When I announced the very first Flamenco Tour to Jerez she actually got plane tickets for herself and my dad to come to Spain at the same time.
(I think secretly she was worried nobody would sign up for my trip and wanted to be there just in case that were to happen.)
That’s the type of mother she was.
The following may not be related to flamenco, yet still I wanted to share…
My mom taught me to respect others.
She modeled kindness and generosity.
She did not believe in guilt.
She did not believe in shame.
She did not believe in making people feel badly.
She could spot the underdogs and was able to make them feel special.
She was incredibly smart.
She was funny.
She was resourceful.
She was determined.
She was no-nonsense.
She was stoic.
She didn’t complain.
She had a lot of sass.
She loved to read and always had a stack of books next to her.
She was a mother, a wife, and a career woman.
She was a friend.
She was a teacher and a librarian.
She was a daughter, an aunt, and a grandmother.
She was a lover of and supporter of the arts.
She was an advocate for public and school libraries.
She was a giver.
She was an excellent seamstress. (Out of necessity. She was so tall, 6’1”, that she had to learn to sew in order to make clothes that fit her.)
She was a wonderful cook.
There is so much more I want to tell you,
Like how she took care of me when I was sick.
And about all that she did for us while working full time. Besides taking me here and there, sewing me all kinds of costumes, and making the best chocolate chip cookies ever, she did surprising things like baking a cake for a school fundraiser once and being my bluebirds leader one year. These things were surprising as she didn’t have much time to volunteer at school and such…
I could tell you she was a night owl.
That she had short hair for almost her entire life.
That she hardly wore makeup.
But I’ll wrap this up.
My mom was her own person.
(To say she was unique would be an understatement.)
I imagine this may cause you to remember a loved one you have lost.
I hope you are able to smile as you recall some of the happy memories, and I send you the biggest hug.
xo
The first picture is my mom and me in Spain in 1998. I had moved to Sevilla to study flamenco, and after several months my parents and my aunt came to visit. I took some time off from my job, and we traveled around for a couple of weeks.
The group picture is my parents with the participants of the very first Flamenco Tour to Jerez in the fall of 2012, when they crashed the trip. (I apologize for the blurriness).
Finally, here is a letra to honor her and all mothers.
And here is a letra in celebration of all parents.