I was rehearsing with Kuma the other day  when I accidentally learned a bunch of lessons. All lessons that I'd learned before, as so often is the case.

He was playing cajón.  I was dancing.  And not long into things, the re-noticings started coming.  One after another.  I had to keep running over to my phone to write them down. Because I was so excited.  And because I didn't want to forget.

After awhile, on account of one of the noticings, I realized it was time to stop running away from our practice to write them down.

This was important.  

But before I go there, please allow me to explain how I got there.

It happened like this

We were practicing a footwork section.  And there were these parts that I just wasn't getting.  Parts I felt I should be getting.  But once again, getting them I was not.

We were running this one part,

When all of a sudden I realized something

I was rushing.

All of this frustration about not being able to get it.  Only to notice something so simple.

Lo tienes, Laura.   Just stop rushing.

So we ran it again.

This time I was super-focused.

Focus.  Breathe.  No Corras.

And that's when I realized another thing

Not only had I been rushing, (no wonder I had been rushing?) but I had not been listening.  Not at all.

I was in my own world, dancing as if by myself.

Oh yeah.You are here with someone.  You are doing this together.

Listen to Kuma.

Listen to you.

That changed everything.  And I got it.

But then

Mere moments later I found myself rushing, again.  Otra Vez.

In fact I was speeding up almost before I began.

At this point I started freaking out a bit.  Because how could I still be speeding up?  After all this time?  After just having realized I was doing it in another part?

Especially because in this particular part there was no accompaniment.

Nada.  None at all.  It was just me.  Me and my inner-compás.  Which apparently I was telling myself did not exist.

But this ended up being absolutely perfect because

It was only then that I realized

I needed to trust.

Things are always better when I trust.

Trust yourself.

So, I did.  And I got it.

Then I got kind of excited

When I noticed SOMETHING BIG

...for about the millionth time

It was about Focus.

And how when I focus, the issues sort seem to melt away.

Claro, Laura. Because it is paying attention that allows me to notice what's working and what's not.

As obvious as that seems, I forget!  A lot.  Sometimes I still can't belieeeeeeve how quickly I lose focus.

Anyway, so it went on like this:

  1. Mess up
  2. Discover cause of mess-up
  3. Feel excited

Excited because so often it's just about making little tweaks, and everything instantly gets better.

Who cares if I keep forgetting?

Who cares if I have to keep relearning past lessons?  That's just how it goes sometimes.  And I can keep reminding myself.

Maybe someday it will be different.  Maybe it won't.  I'm guessing it won't.

Either way, I'm learning.

Así es.

10 things I learned

(as jotted down during rehearsal)

One.  Listen

Two.  Breathe

Three.  Don't rush

One.  Listen again

Two.  Breathe again

Four.  It's not just you out there, it's everyone

One.  Sooooo listen

Five.  Enjoy it, it's not about just getting through it

Six.  Dance

Seven.  Relax

Eight.  Relax this is supposed to be fun

Nine.  Take your brain out of it

Ten.  Focus

Ten.  Be here

And the 11th thing

(the one I didn't jot down)

Eleven.  Trust


Comments.  When I get down about flamenco, I like noticing all of the little lessons I'm learning.  What about you?  What lessons have your learned or relearned lately?  Leave a comment here.