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Do You Feel The Fear And Do It Anyway?

This was my very first performance with Ricardo, which wasn’t supposed to have happened.⁣⁣⁣

It was March of 2010.⁣⁣⁣

⁣⁣Ricardo López was coming to Portland to give workshops.⁣⁣⁣

⁣⁣⁣That’s all.⁣⁣⁣

⁣⁣⁣But then he said we should do a show.⁣⁣⁣

⁣⁣⁣Wait, we?⁣⁣⁣

⁣⁣⁣I did not belong on stage with him.

⁣⁣⁣And how would we put it together in barely a week’s time?⁣⁣⁣

Ricardo was insistent.⁣⁣⁣

⁣⁣⁣I titled the show En El Momento, which set the tone for all of our future performances, since we threw it together at the last minute, and I told him that maybe I would do it.⁣⁣⁣

⁣⁣In the announcement I listed Ricardo as the only dancer…⁣⁣⁣

I was not willing to commit.

⁣⁣⁣But in the end, I agreed to join him.⁣⁣⁣

⁣⁣⁣And I actually began to feel excited.⁣⁣⁣

⁣⁣⁣I was going to dance on stage with Ricardo!⁣⁣⁣

⁣⁣⁣Then he told me I should do a solo.⁣⁣⁣

⁣⁣⁣Just something short, he said.⁣⁣⁣..

⁣⁣⁣So this is a snippet from the (very short) piece he set for me. (I apologize for the poor quality of the video. It is old, and the lighting was not good.)

You guys, I felt SO nervous.⁣⁣⁣

⁣⁣I had performed many times before, and I was used to feeling nervous before going on stage, but this was completely different.⁣⁣⁣

⁣⁣⁣This time I would be dancing in front of him.

⁣⁣⁣On top of that, I couldn’t fathom learning the piece well enough to feel confident dancing all by myself in a matter of days.⁣⁣⁣

⁣⁣⁣The show itself was very short,⁣⁣⁣

My piece, maybe three minutes long, a sevillanas together, a couple of musical numbers, and a castanets solo by Ricardo.⁣⁣⁣

Though it felt like so much more than that to me.⁣⁣⁣

⁣⁣⁣After the show ended I was blown away when Ricardo gave me a compliment.⁣⁣⁣

⁣⁣⁣What?!⁣⁣⁣

⁣⁣⁣He actually liked something I did?

⁣⁣⁣This was huge considering the first time we had a private class he completely ripped me apart. ⁣⁣⁣

⁣⁣I am not joking.⁣⁣⁣

⁣⁣⁣The only semi-positive thing he could say was that my hands “weren’t bad.”⁣⁣⁣

(⁣⁣⁣You can understand why I was anxious to perform in front of, and together with, him.)⁣⁣

Anyway, what he told me was that he liked the way I got into it when I was on stage. He hadn’t been expecting that. ⁣

⁣Which is no surprise considering I’d been riddled with fear all week, a broken record telling him how afraid I was and that I couldn’t believe he was making me do this.

He also told me he liked how I had changed a part and played with the compás and created a cool rhythm. I hadn't done that on purpose. I think I just forgot what it was supposed to be or lost my balance or something. Ha!

Today

Over ten years later I still feel nervous before getting on stage. ⁣

⁣Though nowhere near to the same degree.⁣

⁣And I still feel nervous when dancing in front of Ricardo. ⁣

⁣The important thing is that I feel the fear and do it anyway.⁣

What About You?

⁣Can you remember a time you felt incredibly nervous but got out there and did it anyway? Let me know in the comments below.

⁣BONUS: What palo is this?⁣

Guitar: Mark Ferguson ⁣

⁣Cover photo: ©Christopher Germano

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